Saying Goodbye.....

Are we ever really prepared for a loved one to pass, even in old age? How in the world can one EVER prepare?

As many of you know, we decided not to take the Top Coach Beachbody Bahama Reward Cruise as all of our kids couldn't get passports in time. (long story) I made the decision that this years trip was "all or nothing" and decided to instead have a spectacular spring break trip! :)

That week, back on the home front, we all enjoyed looking at the photos going up on facebook, sad to be missing out, but at peace with the decision. After all, this business is to provide FREEDOM to have more family time - and my family is always the priority with me, as I'm sure yours is for you. :) Nothing ground shaking happened that week, but a few nice moments with my kiddos, and a MAJOR decision to move my sweet little mother in law to a new home. KC's mom has been in a dementia home for the last three years and we've loved where she'd been, but for the last few months - she'd been moved to the convalescent hospital part of the facility due to a few trips to the ER needing an oxygen mask. I HATED her being in that convalescent home. The staff were SO kind, but they were terribly understaffed, so she many times didnt have her hair or dentures clean or washed, and WAY too much of the time she was just wheeled out into the hallway; SITTING in an old wheelchair. Alone. :( It KILLED us, and we were praying and looking for another option. Because of our age, not many, if any of our friends have had to deal with this yet so it was a real learning curve for us.

The week of the cruise, a friend of KC's who meets regularly with him for weekly Christian accountability, listened as KC shared our concerns and told him about a wonderful place where he'd just moved HIS mom. Oh, the power of referrals! KC made a call that day and he and I moved her within days. It was a GREAT homey place, and I decorated her room with photos and flowers (an avid gardener in days past, I made sure flowers followed her <3 ). She was well fed (including Chocolate Shakeology twice a day for snack and vitamins :)), clean, hair styled daily, and comfy in her recliner chair from home. My gauge was always "would I want to be here?" and at this new place, the answer was YES! :) It didn't feel as bad to leave her, knowing there were always one worker to three residents. I saw her the week before we left to spend spring break at the beach, and KC took the boys the day we left (Saturday).

Monday morning, we were awakened to the news that she'd passed away. So after one full day of fun in the sun, our vacation spot turned to a grieving and healing spot as we've begun to walk down the path of loss, and the planning of her burial and Remembrance Gathering at our home next week.

A mom is a role never to be replaced. We were grateful to have had her for as long as we did. She was 88. These last few years of caring for her in her dementia were a gift from God as she was softened by the disease (she was one tough cookie!) and became so childlike and adorable. Yes, there are hard moments of dementia, but overall she was a joy to care for and give back to her as I know God would have us honor her.

I have no regrets in my relationship with her. That was purposeful. I said all I wanted to say, she said things to me that I will cherish forever, and that will remain between the two of us women who love her son, and I will forever be grateful that I got to know her in the capacity that I did. I learned so much from her, and though I'm close to my own mom, she and I shared a very unique and special bond that can never be replaced, nor would I want it to be.

Della Elizabeth "Betty" Morrow will live on in the strong women who are her granddaughters, in her grandsons who loved to play under her smiling gaze, and in the loyalty she modeled to her family. I will miss her greatly and am better for having known her. <3